Status Update
by wood-u-like-2-no
Summary: Missing scene - Finn ruminates by himself in the hotel room after Rachel's departure. 4X14.


**A/N - Just a little something that stayed in my head, so figured I'd get it out so I could focus on the longer fics. Hope you enjoy. :) Set during 4X14. **

**Disclaimer - Still don't own any of this stuff. **

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A pair of soft lips grazed the back of his head.

Rachel's lips.

He relaxed immediately, feeling as though he were in a dream. One he didn't want to end.

He heard her emit a soft sigh, followed by the slight rustling of fabric and flowers. Next was the soft rhythm of her footsteps in the carpet, and soon after the sound of the room door opening. After a slight pause it closed again softly, the click of the lock barely perceptible.

A sound that was far too real.

His eyes opened and he looked around sleepily. Only his items remained in the room.

It wasn't a dream. It had happened. They'd been together in every way imaginable, and it had been incredible. But now it was morning and the result was the same.

She was gone and out of his life. Again.

He turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts swirling through his mind like a tornado as the burn of frustration tore through his heart. Had the night before really just that; only one night? Had it meant nothing else?

No, that wasn't true. She'd told him she loved him. She'd reached for the last petal on his flower all on her own, confirming his belief they were, in fact, still tethered. She had willingly joined him in the hotel room. The rest of the night she'd responded enthusiastically to every move he'd made, their bodies joining again and again as they brought each other to fulfillment. Tears had wetted her eyes and cheeks as she clung to him desperately each time.

Their night had been magical. They weren't merely intimate; they had made love and expressed physically everything in their hearts. Long forgotten was the harsh breakup in October, the ridiculous no contact rule or the disastrous coffee date when she first arrived. All that was left was them, baring their souls as well as their bodies.

Finn supposed it was foolish of him to think anything had changed between them though. Rachel still had her life in New York and still had school to finish. He still had responsibilities in Lima, including helping Will find Emma and coaching New Directions past Regionals. With the competition only weeks away, he didn't have time to fill Mr. Schuester in on everything they'd accomplished and planned. It was easier to stay on board until they'd gotten past Regionals and then let Will take over for Nationals.

As much as he wanted to chase Rachel to New York, Finn realized he still had no solid reason to be there. Truthfully he wasn't sure he even wanted to be in New York. He wanted Rachel but it had become clear since returning to Lima that Rachel alone wasn't enough of a reason to move to the city. If he had no other purpose for New York than her, he'd come to resent her for it through no fault of her own. Worse, she'd come to resent him for being the sole focus of his life. That wouldn't be fair to either of them. Although the words were hollow at Thanksgiving when speaking with Quinn, he now felt that his and Rachel's breakup really was for the best. It ensured their feelings for each other hadn't changed.

But that didn't mean other things weren't getting in the way, or other people.

He clenched his jaw when he thought of Brody. The jackass had no idea what kind of amazing person Rachel was beyond her talents. If he did, he would never have agreed to an open relationship with her. Finn knew _**he**_ could never be casual with Rachel - she was far too special to him. And if he _**was **_able to be casual about her, or any girl for that matter, why would he bother in the first place? It would all be empty and meaningless. One night with Santana had already soured his taste for anything along those lines. It wasn't how he rolled.

But Rachel? He couldn't be certain. Even after everything they'd shared that night in the hotel, she still walked away and returned to her empty 'no-labels' relationship with Brody. What kind of deal was that? How the hell could _**she**_ agree to it? Was Brody insisting on that condition, or Rachel? No matter how Finn analyzed it, it made no sense to him. Why be with someone romantically if you could be with others physically? What was special in that? Where was the commitment? Was Rachel so lost at NYADA that her previously adamant rules regarding relationships had disappeared?

Could he be with her if she was that lost? As much as he loved her, could he really afford to put his life on hold? Wait around for her while she struggled to figure out if she would pursue her heart's desire for him or her mind's desire for safe, meaningless companionship?

The answer was surprisingly easy. He couldn't do it; at least not now.

A small smile crept on his face as that simple truth echoed through him. It was, he realized, what she'd said to him months ago on the auditorium stage. He'd felt the crushing, heart-wrenching pain of her walking away and had cried for days afterwards. But it was just Rachel realizing that it wasn't their time because he was lost and had no career or future to work towards. And he still wasn't sure about his future or career, but she was. That's why she'd let him go, why she'd severed ties with him. She was letting him find his path without the burden of their relationship interfering. It also allowed her to pursue her dreams without distractions.

But romantically, the roles were reversed. Now Rachel was lost. Lost trying to decide how she'd handle a relationship or even what kind of relationship she desired. He knew, beyond any doubt, that her heart sang for him and him alone. But her New York surroundings and her never-ending quest to belong had obviously clouded her judgement on what she wanted in a partner. In that sense, Finn had never been lost. He wanted commitment. He wanted a woman who could see him as hers and hers alone. He wanted the companion, the best friend, and the lover all rolled into one person with whom he could trust his heart.

Rachel had to discover that again. He knew she would eventually. The question was how long it would take her. Would she discover it within a month? A year? Would she realize that what the two of them shared was worth the pain and heartache that inevitably came with that depth of love? Or would it take her several years with her all the while preferring brief, romantic flings? Would she rather have the casual, no labels, meaningless trysts that lasted only a few months at a time?

Finn reasoned that Rachel would have to decide for herself. But no matter what she _**did **_decide, Finn knew one thing; he'd always love her, and she'd always love him. Whether they were together in a few weeks, a few months, or not for a decade, no one else would ever touch her heart like he could. Likewise, no one would ever make Finn as happy as Rachel.

In the meantime he had work to do for himself. He had to let her reach those decisions on her own and in her own time. He'd made it abundantly clear in the last twenty-four hours how he'd felt and what he believed about their future together, but he couldn't force her to realize the same thing. She might acknowledge it, but she still refused to act on it.

It was similar to how he hadn't acted on finding a real future for himself.

Finn resolved one thing that moment; it was time to act.

He needed to put in some effort and decide what direction to take his life. Whether it was in Lima, New York, California or even another country, he needed to plan a future of his own and start living it. The world wasn't going to wait for him and neither would Rachel. He needed to make it happen himself.

Maybe he could start things with one small action. One he could do that very moment.

He leaned over the edge of the bed and pulled his phone from the tuxedo jacket's inside pocket. A few finger taps later had his Facebook app open on the screen. Within a few seconds, his update had been saved.

_Finn Hudson  
Single & loving life._

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**Reviews aren't just appreciated, they're encouraged! :) **


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